Lift your eyes...
I experienced You leading me in this invitation this morning.
My soul felt a glimmer of new strength
A fresh wind.
Something far away yet graciously familiar in some way.
Simply.
Slowly.
Lift your eyes.
For the past 510 days - my eyes have been down.
Seeing the crushing grief of unimaginable loss and seeing the gracious love of Your perfect peace and presence - Growing ever nearer to hold and heal my hurting heart.
Seeing the reality for the first time in my life - Held prisoner to the chains of chronic toxic shame. Lovingly led beneath the crushing waves of the storm of my soul.
Letting go.
A glorious undoing and a beautiful becoming.
Layer by layer -
Released
Revealing the me You created
Shackles of shame seen through uncovered eyes for what they really are.
Embracing possibilities of breathing for the first time in my life.
In...
Out...
In...
Out...
YHWH
YHWH
You fill every part of me - the empty spaces once filled with the toxic poison and lies of shame now filling with the healing power and presence of Your Spirit.
The promise of a new filling every day leads my soul to leap for joy.
What new depths of your live - what new mysteries of Your grace - will I experience today - this moment.
The present.
Letting go of what I held most dear, my precious Aleya, paved the pathway to even greater surrender.
Crushed
My strength to sustain the facade demanded of my shame was gone -
Destroyed
Laying dead in my body and soul - a lump of empty flesh on the floor.
Then -
You began to breathe new life in me again.
Slowly.
Patiently.
Gently.
Graciously.
Lovingly.
Moment by moment. Day by day. Week by week. Month by month.
The blessing of becoming.
I now understand is always renewing. A final culmination of perfection only realized when You bring me home.
The journey of becoming - each faithful step - is taken as I more passionately pursue You.
My only joy is You!
And it is in my pursuit of You that I can experience the fullness of who You created me to be.
Only through You do I rise.
So, today, I lift my eyes to You.
I fix my gaze on Your grace.
I choose to believe.
I choose to step simply in faith.
I let go of my bondage and burdens.
I take hold of Your mighty hand.
I take another step with You.
Whether...
...on the waves
...on the mountaintop
...in the valley
...on the winding way, or
...in the garden.
I lift my eyes to You -
I muster all my strength.
I take another step with You!
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